Potent

I believe a lot of us would have been much better off if we could’ve received a pep talk from Mufasa when we were young. But alas, we were dealt the usual hand of human parents who know nothing about the circle of life or how to be the king of Pride Rock. 

 In the past year I’ve been thinking a lot about the cycles of life, the inevitable truths of these cycles, and the potency of perspective. Kids (0-18+) have a tendency to believe they’re the first to live, to laugh and to love. Really though, when we’re young we can’t seem to acknowledge that the people raising us and teaching us, whether family or otherwise, have literally done it all and then some. The adults couldn’t possibly understand our angst, our heartbreak, our embarrassment, or our desire to break free of the mold and stick it to the man. 

 It’s understandable, as kids parents seem a formidable force that have always been a parent. They were born that way, and they have no idea what it’s like to be you. And they don’t exactly, no one does, but I want to take it back to my first blog. You are not special, unique or all that different from anyone else. Neither am I, or your friends or anyone you know. Which, thank goodness, because then you would be totally alone in your experience. In life many, many people will know exactly how you feel, what you’re going through or how hard you have it, because they do too. It’s the sweet part of the human experience that we are going through it together. We can relate to one another and we can connect through our shared hardships and joys. 

This sameness is especially true for (biological) parents. You are literally made of these people, and there is a high probability you’re like them, which means they were like you when they were young. You were likely raised in an environment that is similar to the one they were raised in, because your parents emulated what they knew from their experience of being children. 

Yet we hold tight to the young ego and it isn’t until our mid-twenties, or maybe as we become parents, that we realize in horror our parents were so right and now it’s our turn to unsuccessfully convince a little womb demon that we know what the hell we’re talking about (Mostly). 

It takes growing up a little and experiencing how much harder life gets, to understand why our parents weren’t as deeply moved by our trials and tribulations of teenage hood. They cared deeply that their child was hurting, because they remember how potent that pain can be in early life, but they also knew without a doubt that it would pass easily and quickly. That’s the blessing of being young, we’re resilient and have the added bonus of not needing to take care of ourselves. Any adult can relate going through hardships only for life to have the audacity to continue on as if your life isn’t falling apart. 

“Youth is wasted on the young”, I get it now. The phrase use to make me feel indignant, but I understand it now. Painfully so. What I might give to experience another teenage summer with no responsibilities, no bills, and this incredible sense that anything could happen. All the while having a clean and safe home, stocked with plenty of food and clothing to return to each night. 

When we’re young we don’t realize the beautiful simplicity of being young. Don’t get me wrong, I recognize being young doesn’t exempt anyone from awful things happening, or from pain and suffering. But while that suffering is happening we are surrounded by family, we are cared for, our parents help pick us up when we can’t seem to stand. While we navigate through the trials of being young we are with the people who love us most in this life, and it’s a blessing we often fail to appreciate until later on. 

But it’s the way of life, when one is young there isn’t the experience to know that everything passes and heals and gets better. Parents know, and they try valiantly to show us that it gets easier to bare the hardships because you have the experience to bare them. 

That’s one of the greatest truths I have learned so far. Suffering will happen, unfortunately more often than any of us wants it to. But it’s how you bare it, how you navigate through it, and if you allow yourself to come out the other side of it. Inevitably things get better, and the pain of loss, regret, rejection, failure; it eases and its burden lessens as time passes. That concept has become a great comfort to me in times of heartache. I remind myself of all the other times I have been hurting, I’ve failed, I’ve lost someone, and that eventually the pain of the situation eased and in some occasions healed completely. When it feels like the sick, hallowed feeling will go on forever, I remember all the times it didn’t. 

We don’t have this perspective when we’re young, the pain is new and vast. Our first rejections, heartbreak, failure; they are overwhelming and all encompassing. No one could possibly understand just how much it all hurts. Except for literally everyone that is raising us when we’re young. 

That’s the kicker with perspective, it’s powerful and can help manage emotions in trying times. But we can’t have perspective until we have it. You won’t know what your side looks like until you’ve made it across and can look back. Which means you have to take the initiative to cross and to look back. 

I’m not sure this blog has any one point to it. Other than I am so thankful to no longer be an angsty teenager with no perspective. Sure, life is far more difficult and complicated than it was when I was a kid. Often I feel scared that I am alone in some ways, it’s my responsibility now to take care of myself and my life, even when I don’t have the gumption to do so. But I’m thankful that I know how to take care of myself, and so much of that is due to how well my parents cared for me. They showed me patience, understanding, devotion, and selflessness. I know I, like many of us, took it for granted when I was younger. And it frustrates me daily that I might never be able to genuinely give back to them what they gave to me. I mean lord, how does one payback the immense love and sacrifice that parents offer our entire lives. All I can do is try to offer that same compassion, love and devotion to my loved ones and eventually my own family. 

I know that life can totally kick your ass, and stomp you down, and otherwise be a total jerk. I know that trying to keep perspective and continue on can be annoying and almost impossible at times. But life is long, and the hardships get easier to bare as time goes on, because you have the experience to know how to bare it. Fortunately, no pain will ever be as potent as it is when we’re young and have never felt it before. Life is sort of like exposure therapy, each time you get a dose you get stronger and more capable of handling it. 

Let me know in the comments what perspectives you have learned in your life that have been most helpful and impactful. 

Until next time <3